Many of you, our loyal readers, were dismayed to find that we, the principals of the Alternative Championship Headquarters (ACHQ), had sold their souls to the devil, or at least a close of friend of his. We can now tell you that this was all part of our cunning plan. We didn't so much sell our soul to the devil, as grant him a short-term lease, which unbeknownst to him, expired shortly after the proceeds of his cheque had been cleared into the ACHQ bank account.

While on the surface, this may seem mercenary and corrupt, let us assure you we did it for the greater good of F1„¢ and you, our trusted and loyal readers, as will become evident the further you read. Like you, we too are dismayed at the state of our beloved sport, so when the devil himself approached us and waved his filthy lucre under our noses, on the proviso that we turn the ACHQ from an instrument of good and right and just into an organ of evil, a force of darkness. Ever mindful of such opportunities, we grabbed the money and acted accordingly.

We are very fond of the money. And lest you think we only want the money for selfish reasons, we hasten to point out that almost all of our expenditure to date has been made with a view to raising the quality of our offering. Our new office equipment is very efficient and leaves us with more time to craft our writings. The generous new premises greatly aid our well-being and thus improve our mental health. The thrice-daily massages from nubile Swedes relieve the debilitating muscle-tension that used to force us away from our desks for hours on end.

AC-HQ Editorial note - delete before publication: Rob, can I have Inga now? Sven is starting to hurt me - Crompo

AC-HQ Editorial note - delete before publication: Crompo, Piss Off! - Rob

The short-term lease of a spy plane from a corrupt superpower allows us to eavesdrop on even the most highly encrypted radio messages at Grands Prix.

AC-HQ Editorial note - include for publication: Ptthhhpppppppppp!! - Rob & Crompo

So loyal readers, as you watched the British GP official broadcast, we listened to the British GP unofficial broadcasts. Sat safely in our secret communication bunker 'neath the ACHQ, we listened in on the satellite relay of the transmissions intercepted by our airborne rental unit. Unfortunately, our surveillance craft did somewhat give itself away by making all the radio transmissions audible to everyone at the circuit with a transceiver. In the end, we suspect that this was our undoing€¦