In a sensational move, Pitpass editor Chris Balfe has blasted WilliamsF1 team boss Sir Frank Williams.

Although the journalist's comments are hardly likely to cause a blip on the Englishman's 'radar', they do come at a time when he is already under fire from former driver Juan Pablo "Montoya.

"The public has to know the truth," declared Balfe. "I used to be slim, I used to have hair, I used to be young... but now look at me.

"It's not my fault, I didn't have the tools, other than a knife and fork. It's his fault," he continued, as he stuffed a spoonful of jam rolly-polly into his mouth. (Mmm jam-rolly polly).

"He didn't do anything for me. He didn't warn me that eating food would cause me to put weight on, he never gave any sort of indication. Same as the beer, why couldn't Frank warn me that it would lead to hangovers, a large belly and a severe shortage of cash?

"And my hair," he continued, "my beautiful hair, why didn't Frank tell me that as I got older I would lose my flowing locks and that lines would appear on my face, and other bits of my body? Why, why?"

Clutching a bag of Maltesers in one hand and a cream do-nut in the other, Balfe vented his anger at Williams yet again. "What did he expect me to do, take responsibility for my own actions?"