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FEATURE BY MIKE LAWRENCE
20/10/2005

Before long a story will probably break involving motor racing, a journalist, a newspaper and legal action. In the highly unlikely event of the journalist and newspaper winning the action, the ramifications would go far beyond motor racing. A newspaper has printed a story which suggests motor racing is being used as a cover for crime.

The journalist I'll call 'Caliban'. The reason is that that I will not give any detail which could lay a trail to the source. From me you will receive no clue as to even the country where this tosh was printed. I am working from a photostat made from an original copy of the paper, you will not find the story on the Internet. The paper has a website, but has chosen not to post this story.

Caliban has written that he likes to believe that the rumours that such and such will 'remain unfounded'. In this case the 'rumours' concern using motor racing for money laundering, and the article speaks of 'massive' sums and where that money might be going. If there was a high profile Formula Panhard team from Patagonia and an article about Formula Panhard mentioned money laundering through Patagonian banks, your focus might be pointed in a particular direction.

Imagine an article which hoped that rumours linking a government minister to a paedophile ring were unfounded. This is what Caliban has done. The minister either catches a plane to a country with no extradition treaty, or he sues. Caliban and the paper will be sued.

If Caliban or his paper had proof, they would have presented his weasel allegations as a brilliant piece of investigative journalism and published the proof. Were I in Caliban's position, and I had proof, I would hire an agent to get me world wide syndication and spots on TV chat shows. It would be my pension fund, the story is that big, but only if it could be proven.

Like every journalist, I have a stash of stories I could turn into money, but choose not to. Try this one: some years ago a friend of mine, we'll call her 'Alice', was dying of cancer and her condition was complicated by the fact that Alice had been born Henry and had undergone the Big Op. As Henry, my friend had been a promising actor at RADA he had been chosen to play Hamlet which is 'promising' writ in capital letters made of solid gold.

By a quirk of happenchance, another friend of mine played Ophelia to Henry's Hamlet and she is one of our leading classical actresses. I was once present when 'Ophelia' chatted to 'Alice' and Ophelia had no idea they had previously met, let alone spent four years together on the same course.

This is beginning to shape into a great tabloid story, especially since Henry was once married, had children, and his wife had supported him in his decision to become transsexual even though that cost him his marriage and career. As Alice he/she had gone to live with another woman, I don't know if they shared the same bed, but they shared the same roof.

Now consider this: Alice's brother in law was, and still is, an influential MP in the Conservative party which, at the time, was in government.

We have actor, sex change, possible lesbian relationship, leading actress and government minister, it was a tabloid editor's dream. There was a problem, however, which was that all of Alice's friends suffered loss of memory. There were not many in on the secret and one was on social security so could have used the money, but none of us could remember Alice.

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