06/12/2022
FEATURE BY MAX NOBLE
Just like the age-old question about the Romans, 2022 was a tricky one to define in terms of benefits, and detriments. Thankfully no one was crucified, no fake beards were stolen and no one had to get stoned for highlighting fine dining reviews of fish dishes.
Which, rather like consideration of a well-constructed aqueduct, leaves one asking, "What enduring memorial do we have from season 2022, and is it any good...?"
As water flows ever down such a suitably graded aqueduct, so it was we saw Daniel Ricciardo and Mick Schumacher both have gravity exert a considerable downward pull on their careers. The recent news of Daniel rejoining Red Bull, plus the fact they have already strongly denied it means he is going to race again for them, are both great signs that the waterwheel of fortune could be slowly spinning once more in his favour. Does that mean Perez is going to take a cold water dunking? Let's wait and see. But this is a great gift from season 2022 if one looks forward with one of Daniel's trademark smiles.
Mick. Sigh. I can only hope that Toto actually has a plan to ease him from the Ferrari school, and into the barbarian camp of love which is Mercedes.
While the opening scene from Gladiator was a convincing win for the Romans, with the German tribes taking a true hell-fire beating, one can only hope that in Mick's case that outcome is reversed. Then again, poor old Mattia Binotto's downfall as Roman team captain was about as brutal, swift, and testing as that of Maximus.
Spreadsheet-gate! Who would believe way back in the carefree days of, oh, say mid-COVID crisis lockdowns, that accountants, spreadsheets, Enterprise Resource Planning (ERP) software, and accounting systems (I'm specifically looking at you Oracle Financials...) would enter stage left for Liberty Media to give a few more pantomime gasps to us the fans?
Reaching out to appeal to that untapped market of spreadsheet and exchange-rate loving accountants to get more eyeballs following F1 was a Drive to Survive act of genius.
What's more, all those bean-counting alchemists know... it all starts again next season! Dang! I'm sure in deep, dark internet chat rooms where operating income, tax write-off and R&D tax off-set are all discussed with demonic glee that commencement of the 2023 season accounting period is already being anticipated with the sort of fervent mania usually seen in hamsters recently banned from the wheel for a week due to bad behaviour.
No more Masi! Yup. Bet that looks like another great decision from the FIA. This year the teams were even more upset with decisions than last year, which actually goes to show what a remarkable job Masi did. He's been replaced by a team and they still cannot get it right in real time!
Clearly the further observation from this is that, just like Sid Watkins and Charlie Whiting, Masi was a one-off character who cannot be easily replaced.
The Romans threw Masi to the lions last year and appear to be allowing the hyenas to nibble the poor staff this time around. 2023? More change, plus new team moans is my prediction. The enemy is quite clearly the popular people's front of Judea...
The biggest rule overhaul since Pontius Pilot was a kid! How did that work out?
Well they lined-up two-by-two in respectful biblical fashion at the last race, and George Russell was the only Philistine, sorry, I mean non-top team driver, to climb Calgary and look on the bright side of life without getting nailed to a cross. Sorry! A step on the podium.
Seriously. Mercedes slip the massive, empire ending, slide of first to third. Red Bull climb the massive hill from second to first and Ferrari go around in circles as ever, while only just leapfrogging Mercedes, give or take a gourd or sandal. Oh, and other teams finished somewhere behind these three.
If only I had a simple witty, more or less politically acceptable joke, that begins... "Jesus, Mohammad and Buddha walk into an FIA meeting, and..." Quite simply this massive rules overhaul has resulted in the season 2022 racing looking much like the season 2021 racing. Added to the cost cap which has changed the pecking order not one jot, and one really wonders what the blazers at FIA central have actually achieved for all their huffing, and puffing...
AWS racing insights! Dang but that has really enlivened the drama by giving remarkable, super-computer powered observations such as "Alonso could be in overtaking distance within 31 laps, with a 51.2% probability." How did I ever watch a race without being told a faster car was catching a slower car!? If AWS could tell me next weeks' winning lotto numbers I'd be far more impressed. AWS insights? Like the weather man or woman telling you it is raining, when you are already standing in a monsoon, or worse, the local river has just swept your family home down-stream, simply useless...
The new digital frontier? The inside rim of the Halo device! Now this is a real win. I love the information they now overlay in this area. It is so cool seeing revs, g-force, and all the other numbers in real time for the driver. This has been a real win for me, and I love it each time they dive into the cockpit view, and overlay graphics which add to the instant drama. In this instance the Romans have completely delivered for us! If only they would actually hold the shot when something of drama is about to happen, rather than cutting to five year olds being tasered by their parents to scream and yell and jump for the Netflix cameras on demand...
Tyres... Yup tired of a single supplier. I've written previously on this. The control tyre is not helping the game, and the lack of a tyre war is boring. One of the greatest upgrades to a road car (other than chipping it and getting a straight-through exhaust for your turbo...) is top quality tyres. And just like moveable aero surfaces, it is unavoidable for F1. Seriously... bring back the tyre wars!
Sprint races... As V. Max has noted. From the pure sporting and historic perspective... Who cares? This scribe does not watch them. A bit like watching the main gladiator event but not watching the unarmed Christians being thrown to the Lions, I'd simply rather it was not part of the spectacle.
More races in places you've never heard of... Well ummm... Expansion is a good thing, other than when it is one's waistline, but into countries with no racing history, an oppressed population, questionable laws and governance... It is only good if Liberty Media and the FIA, get the new host nation to sign-up to meaningful UN or similar global body, regulations that they commit to meeting within a specific timeline. Minimum wage within ten years. Equal rights within fifteen years. Recognition of non-binary people within seven years, etc. If F1 wants to make a difference, get new host nations to sign-up to a timeline of improvement. It's not difficult. I'd give the FIA 0.5/10 on their direct action on improving questionable host nations. Right now they simply take the money, while improving nothing.
As Genesis noted, there has always been Ethel. Which each time I play "Selling England by the Pound" I transmute that line into "There's always been Vettel". Now he's gone, gone, gone. Or is he...? He clearly loves the sport of F1, as opposed to the politics and manufactured show, yet he is walking away on his own terms to potentially return, as what? Team advisor? Floating RB consultant? Sinking Ferrari consultant? TV talking head al la Nico R.? TV crazy as per Eddie Jordan's endless Road Runner impersonations? Who Knows?
So what did Season 2022 ever do for us...? It gave us a V. Max supreme. It gave us the final season of Vettel. It gave us remarkable laps from the top three teams, RB, Mercedes, Ferrari, whereby their pilots pushed to a shade over the limit and presented the adoring fans with a number of remarkable side-by-side moments and stunning overtakes.
It gave us more spreadsheet analysis time than any of those of us that gaze on such things on a regular basis a splitting headache. Then arch-jester Christian and arch-villain Toto gave more than a season's worth of gibberish jabber in one day, to ensure the "Look behind you!" crew were fully entertained.
Oh, and like a rat out of an aqueduct Alonso flew to a new team, but, well, we all knew that was going to happen, so we cannot blame the Romans for that.
Max Noble
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