18/06/2015
FEATURE BY MAX NOBLE
Chicken Little has plenty to answer for. Skies always stayed sleepy blue and overhead until he turned up and gave panic a human (well, chicken...) face.
Ever since that fateful barnyard sprint the 'panic d'jour' has combined effortlessly with the Emperor's new Armani to have otherwise sensible people running in circles, building fallout shelters for an Armageddon that never arrives.
And so to Formula One, the end of racing as we know it, and the appalling state of what, for want of a better name, are called the governing body and rules for our beloved sport.
Yes sport. I for one view it in the same spirit as both the World Cup (FIFA aside) and the Olympics (former Olympic committee issues aside). It is first and foremost a sport that grabs the heart, mind, and, well, dangling male bits, in equal measure and gives them a shake and a stir at the same time. As a result it becomes entertainment and spectacle because it is first and foremost a remarkable sport. Not the other way around. Not now. Not ever.
So having got that out the way let us use some strategic thinking to solve many problems with one mother of a rework. Our start premise? "Houston we have a problem..."
Sport stars not training as hard as a decade ago? Check.
Cars slower than the 'Golden Year' of 2004? Check.
Teams not happy, out of money, sulking, unable to find big note sponsors...? Check, check, check, oh, and... Check (actually the issue being, no cheque...).
Fans wondering what the Chicken Little is going on? Oh so very check.
Root cause. The bottom line problem? Money and power. Stay with me here.
For the London Olympics, Australia spent an average of $10 million Aussie dollars per medal (that's about fifty quid I think). The UK (based on figures they supplied to us antipodeans so I for one believe them totally...) apparently spent $7 million Aussie dollars per medal (about thirty quid I think). Not allowing for the zinbillion dollars spent on infrastructure and removing leaves from rail lines or whatever it is the British do to tidy up when expecting visitors. Anyway, my point is, what makes the Olympic playing field 'even' is not giving South Africans UK passports, it's the amount spent by the geo-politically motivated governing bodies on grass roots development of the sport, and then elite athlete programmes. One can nearly line the competing nations up in order of budget and predict the medal tables.
Yes, America, Russia, and China have more random genetic samples from which to base a team (that's humans...) but overall as long as you have a few million randomly generated humans in your nation, just spend the money on the good ones and the results will follow.
The good news for those of us who hope for at least some excitement in the finals of each sport is that all the top nations have enough money to spend and that at the end of the day it is (genetic engineering and drug cheats aside) a level playing field. For each discipline at least three or four countries have found the right people and invested in them to make it a real sporting contest.
Throw in nerves, blind good luck, and the remarkable strength of the human spirit and each Olympics delivers moments that leave us breathless, heart in mouth, tears in eyes, at a performance that will live in our minds and become legend for years untold...
Just like that race when Senna... Or Mansell... Or that day in the rain when Michael... Moments that transcend both sport and the human condition to deliver a spiritual moment of sheer achievement and performance so far beyond what we expected that we are breathless, in awe, and addicted all in the same moment in an intoxicating moment of sporting greatness. We just witnessed a human reach for the stars and touch the face of God (or the Universe, or Gaia or whatever you believe in). We cannot express it other than to scream in delight or hug the person next to us. That is sport at its true greatest. Transcending the human condition and delivering an experience we feel, not think.
Money and power rob us of those moments. Our souls are being sold cheap. And no one asked us the reserve price.
We need to make F1 more like the Olympics. We need the playing field to be level enough that a number of teams could win on the day. But just as a 'one make series' in the Olympics, where every athlete is an American, would bore us rigid and destroy interest, so we cannot, must not, have a one make F1. So what to do?
Naturally dear reader I would not have begged your indulgence without posing a possible answer for you to either embrace or reject. I don't mind which... Just please, whatever you do, do not be indifferent. As Martin Luther King so gloriously said "Evil happens when good men do nothing".
The Max Noble F1 Fix-Up could be viewed as...
Poor humour warning! This has some real serious points mixed with my eclectic humour. I recommend you either read a few of my previous articles, listen to Pitpass podcasts, or understand that it is a British and Australian tradition to mix the most serious of subjects with off-beat humour. Take the serious bits real serious, take the off-beat humour as trying to make a point with a bitter-sweet day-brightener. Really.
1: The FIA pays for Max Mosley to give JT weekly lessons on how to have an opinion until JT gets it, or if after 42 lessons he fails a test as set by Max Mosley the fans and drivers get to vote for a new FIA president, with national FIA bodies, CVC, and Bernie having no input.
2: The entire money ecosystem within F1 is reset. We do this by...
3: For the first three years a team must be self-funded to show honest intent. Only money being awarded being that for points finishes.
4: After three years each team gets a slice of the money pie based on years in the sport. We take half the available funds, divide by the total number of combined years each currently registered team has been involved and for each team multiply by their years in the sport. Ferrari would still get the biggest slice as they have been competing the longest unbroken.
5: Of the remaining fifty percent, twenty percent is divided by the number of teams that have competed more than three years and given out equally. Now everyone has a base revenue stream...
6: The remaining thirty percent is then divided by the total number of points available over a season and given out at season end based on points earned during the year. With points being awarded as follows...
7: Fastest lap of the entire GP weekend, covering free practice, qualifying and the race, earns five points.
8: Fastest qualifying lap gets three points.
9: Pole gets two points. (As with the current quali format this could be different to the fastest lap of quali).
10: Fastest race lap gets three points.
11: Winner gets 30 points, then scale down the next five places as now.
12: Everyone within one lap of the winner at race end then gets points. Scaled from sixth down to last car running within one lap of the winner.
13: End result...?
14: Every one with a car that makes the line for at least one race of the season gets points. Making it highly probable that we can follow fights all the way down the field and see what the smaller teams are fighting for.
15: Now the other rules...
16: Set a series of three-dimensional limits for the car, a series of mandatory crash tests, and a minimum weight and a maximum weight.
17: Set a maximum power output as measured at the rear wheels on an FIA calibrated dyno-rig.
18: Set a maximum pre-stored (i.e. on board fuel) limit and a maximum total energy for the car over a race distance. Then generational energy via a recovery energy source for the motive unit becomes a trade-off between weight and recovery effectiveness.
19: Provide a range of five regular tyres and two wet tyres. Each team can select any of the two regular tyres for a race weekend and must use both. They must inform the tyre supplier six weeks in advance of the race which tyres they want. Wet tyres are always available unrestricted when wet weather hits a race.
20: No refuelling.
21: Engines must use pre-stored energy and regenerative, at manufacturers choice (refer previous rule on using both, with weight vs. regeneration wing a manufacturer choice, driven by technology, not the prescriptive rules).
22: Maximum generated down-force as measured in an FIA approved wind tunnel must not exceed more than 125% of total car weight at 250 kph. How you do it is your problem to solve the "cannot follow the car in front" problem.
23: FIA will provide a cloud computing facility for all teams. All CFD work, all design work, everything computing related must be performed on this computing facility. This will ensure the teams all have the same level of computing power and can only use the same number of hours per week for calculations. Any code detected as not generated on this facility will be deleted and the team fined.
24: Computing for simulator runs, wind tunnel and race weekends can all be run by the teams.
25: Let market forces dictate the sponsorship over and above the refined team payment structure (see above) OR (and this is my suggestion...) no individual team sponsors. All sponsors must promote the series as a whole, and put into the combined pot, not a single team bank account. In this second case, the teams draw lots each race weekend for who hosts which series sponsor (I'm keen on this idea I've got to say... You can still have platinum, gold, silver and bronze level sponsors globally, plus local sponsors, but they put money into the entire series, not just one team. Go enjoy that Red Bull and Ron....!). Then the total divide of funds each year uses the prize pot, plus all the input from all sponsors.
26: If anything really annoying happens and the stewards mess it up, it is referred to the Pitpass podcast team whose decision is final in all cases. No, really, we set up a World Motorsport Arbitration Council that is the final arbiter. All issues referred to them must be resolved prior to the next race in the series under review. Anything not handled by either the race day stewards or the World Motorsport Arbitration Council will be referred to the EU sporting council for a final binding review.
27: With four months to go to the end of each season the FIA conducts a fan, team and commercial rights holder review of all current rules. There is a two week comment window and then a one month review window for the FIA. The FIA position on the review is then returned to the fans, the commercial rights holder, and the teams. A two week discussion is then held and one month before the end of the current season the rules for the next season are set. For major rule changes (such as chassis and engine) this will happen a season (I.e. One year) in advance.
28: The fan position on a topic will be decided via a poll run by the FIA where the top five fan positions on a topic will be put forward for the fans to vote on. At the end of the voting period the fan position with the most votes is put forward as the total fan position for the planet. Sorry we need to draw a line somewhere (or the Pitpass podcast crew have the final say if agreed by more than 3/4 of the global F1 fan base...).
29: Nigel Mansell, some-time-Le Mans-Winner Allan McNish, Alan Jones, and Max Mosley are the permanent members of the race stewards committee. Each hosting country can then recommend two additional stewards with suitable FIA approved credentials. In the event this group of stewards cannot agree the result will be determined by Alan Jones and Max Mosley having a battle on stand-up paddle boards in Sydney harbour on the Tuesday after each race. The result of the winner of this aquatic best of three decider contest will be final.
30: Should the teams still be arguing about funds the final distribution will be awarded based on each team principal doing a karaoke of Gary Numan's "Cars". Jean Todt will set the baseline score and each team principal will be judged as above or below JT's score. Those scoring less than JT will have their funds set by JT. Those scoring more than JT shall refer to article 29 above and need to fight Alan Jones for funding in Sydney harbour.
Ok, so a couple of those rules are tongue in cheek silly because I can (thank you Chris) but the bulk are aimed at a serious review of what it means to race. We want the edge of the possible, not the edge of the allowed. We want differing strategies leading to exciting outcomes. We want athletes staggering exhausted from their cars. We want those cars to be on the edge of a nervous breakdown. We want those "my soul just moved a little closer to God" moments. Excitement of the sheer sporting awesomeness of it all. Beauty is truth when the beauty is natural. Not fake. Not manufactured entertainment. Sheer beauty in the limits of man and machine driving us all to a moment of sporting bliss the memory of which lasts generations.
The teams and commercial backers are doing a Chicken Little without looking at what is really falling. And that is fan interest in a manufactured show.
Bring back the sport under rules that allow innovation and heroics. The rest will follow. Give the engineers sensible bounds. Give the teams a reasonable share of money (yay for my series sponsors only idea please). And then stand back and watch the drivers be heroes. I love the fact that Michael Schumacher still holds so many records because he was a great. The simple fact is the cars have been hobbled since 2004 such that Michael could not break his own records. That's not progress in sport. Give me (rationally bounded) passion. Give me great sport. The spectacle will follow. Then the dollars.
Give me a glimpse of God, a view of human perfection, a moment of sporting glory to die for. Or give me nothing.
Give me rules that level the playing field for the top teams by providing funds for the teams - engineers, managers, drivers, support in all its forms - to fight on the day to deliver deserved glory. Or give me nothing.
Give me delight in one team and one driver reaching out to touch the face of God or fail in joy trying. Or give me nothing.
Understand the revised (post event award scandal) Olympic set up and revise your governance accordingly. Or give me nothing.
Hey Pay TV and FIA.... You've lost the spirit and you appear to be going for the nothing option. Actually the massive short term profits, with no future option. Wake up. Save the sport. Save the fan base. Delight the drivers. Save the teams. Bring a spark of adventure and delight back to humanity. You have no idea the impact you can have if you only dare... And us the fans are ready and waiting.
Trust me, my sleep is unquiet and I wish to awake from my slumber with a roar.
Wake up FIA. Life calls FIA. Be in it.
Learn more about Max and check out his previous features, here